Smoke Signal Submission

We want the news not the weather!

what am I passionate about, Tv dinners. TV is an essential part of the american diet, dinner only second to it, if one were to look at the effects of adding the two togeth it adds up to one sloppy mess. Now if god were alive today it would eat tv dinners and drive in a big car. By golly for every time I have had dinner while watching television. But I am not on fire for TV dinners, or news or much (e.g. scooters, vacation, fall). I guess thats what makes me so dang passionate about them. A typical loafers passion of coarse, if anyone brings them up in conversation this means I might just spill the beans. But that hasn't happened yet because removing your voice deprives us of any cocky aftermath. Plus nobody likes people butting in on their speaking voice.

1994 69

Carmen McRae

HUNTERS

When I shot Hunter's Diet in 1989 I was just one young kid in LA with one measly script and one big dream. I remember my first meeting with Danny, hot from his part as Vincent Benedict wearing a houndstooth fedora and smoking a cheap cigar at the Hardrock

BEFORE I FORGOT

ELEC. DOUD etc.

right and left

This is all a strange moment

Unusual Patterns Can Appear Anywhere

discovered the first telescope which reaches past the smallest particles thought to compose us.

KINDLE 1984

Show up late one more time and my ass is canned.

ALMOST

Karma Graph

1. Bill sputtered out on sunset, the heat was unbearable. "My oh my, world." He thought, "how you have raped my mind. Molding me like clay. If its not the boss, its the tv, or flowers on the armoire, or my father." A car turned the corner as he paused at a crosswalk. The place on Sunset was listed in the phone book as 'Peggy Sue's Burgers and Malts' It was all vinyl and pomp and reeked of novelty. His waiter never shit on Wednesday and Thursday. He would save it up then use the restroom over at Venus Coffee on 15th. It made him satisfied to know the little baristas would have to clean it up. He looked down at his masterpiece and would let the stench waft into his nose with a wolfish grin. Bill ordered a Big Burger and Coke. The service was bad and soon enough the hot mess was dripping in front of him. He had finished the coke by then and was sweating, even with the AC. The mustard and relish speckled the corner of his mouth and in no time it was all over. He thought, "I need to see Eddie and deaden up. He's probably off by now."
   

Walking with Rooms

No more cash, after squandering it on his last few motions at night. Bill Booth once again found himself in a bottle. "you know..." "Bill" "right Bill, anyhow you know that last broad sittin' over by Mickey?" Bill paused and splashed out onto the street, a figure of vomit and piss and blood and guts. The world was full of barbeque men and sunday hat woman fettering over spoiled meat on a beach covered in goose shit. He was tired of them all, jabbering on about interesting things and boring things, space and woman, and men and happenings, and he was tired of waking up at the crack of dawn to idiots who would fuck him in the ass first chance received. But mostly he was tired of all the light that fooled him to think things and then fell into obscurity and routine. He stumbled and tripped to a curb vomiting bile. He had always been spoiled.

JOE CAMEL

looking under a microscope is fascinating

Woke up and fought off the idea that waking up is a dull experience.

The Drive

At first glance the road smelt like roses. Cynthia's' blouse settled by Jerry's' magazines in the old ford as the clutch burned and the car spun around the corner. Soon they would realize the swell smell was a travesty. Amos Mclain settled the town Points View in 1834, nestled on the highest hill for miles, his ancestor Perry Mclain sold Jerry the car a few years back. It was Perry's nohow that closed the deal. Perry always laughed saying, "I could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves." Cynthia had gotten Jerry to go on the trip. Her sister lived across the Cascades. Jerry wouldn't have gone if not for the drive, he hated relatives, his, hers, the whole business was a bust. Rockpoint was a busy tourist destination in June too, especially with the local bicycle race. Another turn, his father had always taught Jerry good; slow into it beforehand, speed up as she breaks. But this time Jerry didn't listen to the lesson, or he was preoccupied. His hand rubbed Cynthias inner thigh and he saw the bicyclist at the worst moment. The car smashed through the side rail right off the side of the mountain. It was a bright day and the biker was far from anywhere. He had always loved a good ride.

LAY LADY LAY

http://www.spaceportamerica.com/

The Open

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAjItY7X0Yc
He slid a twenty across the vinyl top. "You don't have any smaller bills?" The cashier was a fat man with a red nose and bug eyes connected without neck to his shit stained uniform and name tag, Derin. The background continued to whirl with activity as the employees hurried to meet the ceaseless demand.

"sorry bud, nothin' doin'."

Derin had never taken guff from anybody back on the schoolyard, but sure enough he reached into the register and forfeited the owed allotment and what were some of his last bills. Bill pulled his wallet out and shoved the money in. He filled a cup with rootbeer and spit on the floor. No smoking and the bitch working the milkshake machine saw him spit.

"This ain't a barn we're runnin' sweetie.  I'm gettin' paid beans and don't need your help to make my day shit!"

"If this ain't a barn then why do I see so many jackasses in front of me."

The obese nuclear family in the corner of the restraunt felt the tension and half a baby started to cry. Bill was picturing her without her form fitting chinos or awful brown uniform. He liked what he saw.  She ruined her milkshake.

"We don't have to fuckin' serve you neither, now get the hell out of here!"

"No way, I paid four dollars fifty for a burger and fries and thats what I'm getting."

  "You ain't gettin' shit!"

"Then give me back my fucking money!"

"Get out of hear you fat fuck!"

"Fuck you!" He flung the rootbeer over the counter and into the kitchen as he stormed out to his '91 Prizm. It hit a rack above the grill then splashed rootbeer over 25 lbs of ground beef. Ted, the grill cook, dashed out after him and Derin farted. 

A kid who started that week asked what they should do with the spoiled meat.

She glared at him, "What the fuck do we care, flip em'."

ASSOCIATE

I GOT A REPRODUCTION OF THE LAST SUPPER IN AN OLD FRAME

BESIDE THAT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED, BESIDE OCCASIONAL CONVERSATION AND DRIVING AROUND.

'MENT EAT JACK.

I have been reading and sitting on my ass and shitting and riding on lawn mowers all very well, thanks. I forgot to water my plant over the weekend. My computer is the only light in the room while I write now. Zane M

the house 

They are building a house
half a block down
and I sit up here
with the shades down
listening to the sounds,
the hammers pounding in nails,
thack thack thack thack,
and then I hear birds,
and thack thack thack,
and I go to bed,
I pull the covers to my throat;
they have been building this house
for a month, and soon it will have
its people...sleeping, eating,
loving, moving around,
but somehow
now
it is not right,
there seems a madness,
men walk on top with nails
in their mouths
and I read about Castro and Cuba,
and at night I walk by
and the ribs of the house show
and inside I can see cats walking
the way cats walk,
and then a boy rides by on a bicycle
and still the house is not done
and in the morning the men
will be back
walking around on the house
with their hammers,
and it seems people should not build houses
anymore,
it seems people should not get married
anymore,
it seems people should stop working
and sit in small rooms
on 2nd floors
under electric lights without shades;
it seems there is a lot to forget
and a lot not to do,
and in drugstores, markets, bars,
the people are tired, they do not want
to move, and I stand there at night
and look through this house and the
house does not want to be built;
through its sides I can see the purple hills
and the first lights of evening,
and it is cold
and I button my coat
and I stand there looking through the house
and the cats stop and look at me
until I am embarrased
and move North up the sidewalk
where I will buy
cigarettes and beer
and return to my room.

from "All's Normal Here" - 1985
Ruddy Duck Press

Charles Bukowski

Tend to your

The Archive from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Martin the Tailor from Ed David on Vimeo.

Digital Faith

Our Father,

I've got a summer job lined up now. I took the position of someone going to summer school at Lake Sammamish  State Park as a park aide. I've got work from seven in the morning until four in the afternoon. My plan is to wake up at five thirty to eat a breakfast first but who knows if thats walk or talk. 

Puddle Career

Fastbinder Eats His Own Salad

I was thinking, I don't know. I wanted to, but, I barely have time. Four Mouths eating all at once, but where are the bodies, nobody knows. It smells like fresh scallops. One mouth was shut while three more were open. No room for more but they are all in one room. They can't stop thinking about what they're doing. On one mouth's nose a small man drifted into the scene. He bet a tall man a dime and spit on the floor. 

"show me your hand." Said the tall man. The mouth with the nose obliged.

"Ace of Clubs, Jack of Spades."

"show me your feet."

"6"

"Show me your ears."

He placed the desired vegetable before him.

Crease More Curtain Piss

Crush my Apple Pie

On the mantle above the kitchen door Wendy had red and blue fish in two glass cylinders only days earlier. The red fish jumped out of a bowl while she was refilling the water. It fell a few feet, hit the floor and gasped. Wendy picked it up, put it back, and, after it died, flushed it down the toilet.

-Expectation Amidst Obligation-

Great!

Bill Gates is all my phone 24/7, it's a despicable trend and I will soon bronze eye cancer because of it.

MACHO B

IN THE ZONE:

Worlds Fattest Man Gets New Car

Siberians Find Strange Ancient Skulls

Oldest US Jaguar Dies of Kidney Faliure

Mood Rings & Waterbeds*

Construction on the worlds first 3G Waterbed is underway

As classes go by quarter S'09:

Oceanography

Research

Nutrition

A mail-man delivers a envelope to another man.

Burt Hines is the man. He had just finished pissing and heard the mail drop through the slot. It was a letter from his insurance company;

Dear Burt Hines,

This is Ray Addle from your Bisco Insurance office. I'm writing you as a friend, not an associate. I apologize for sending you a letter with our letterhead, but I just can't trust anyone anymore. I have been sleeping in the office for the past two days. I pulled your file, B273, and have noticed you didn't pay your premium yet. I thought I would let you know before your policy is put on cancellation status.

I just thought you had the right to know.

To Have and Have Not

Beetle Bailey woke up around one. After experiment PIGEON 27 had performed liftoff no one woke up early. News was sent from the spacecraft to earth in the martian morning, but it wouldn't make it home until late Earth afternoon. Besides the Mongols everyone was so excited about the government experiment that they all stopped working . The world economy slumped. This lead way to the strongest government Mongolia had experienced since Genghis Khan. They began production on some of the most powerful telescopes known to man, discovering things which no one but the Maya had ever seen in the stars.  Beetle Bailey had changed his name in order with the norm of society. He was assigned a number, as there were a number of other Beetle Baileys in the world, 43. The number forty three was then placed at the beginning, end, or middle of his name as of his preference and his middle name was deleted. He chose the fashion at the time and added the number to the middle of his name, therefore establishing some semblance of what would be considered individuality. Beetle 43 Bailey was then changed for the new language of the world. Human beings had for far too long needed an excess amount of vowel enunciation to get a point across in a descriptive enough manor. After the Mongolian government released a undisclosed chemical which they had named "O" into the world atmosphere a phenomenon of telepathy developed in practically all human minds besides the Portuguese who would later revert back to stone age technology from the chemicals affects. Therefore the UN thought about meeting to pass a bill entitled, "The United Language Act of World Culture" or ULAWOC Pact which formally united the world with one language called BooFoo. BooFoo was similar to English except rid the language of unnecessary letters which were unnecessary for understanding. The world Alphabet nursery rhyme went, 

B-C-D-F-G-H-L-M-N-O-P-R-S-T-V-W-Now I know my BC.

A famous poet and playwright who used BooFoo as his main creative voice was named Quincy 2008 Jefferson by the government. He was made famous by his best selling play, Ponnoclo of Domontoo, which was sold exclusively on Yahoo.com as a .odv file. The play was about a man obsessed with a lost page of The Constitutional History of the USA which stated whether it was Theodore Roosevelt or Franklin Roosevelt who tried to change the spelling of the word Through to thru. An excerpt goes something like this:

"How moch of ot

os now of ot,

os ot now moch

of onothong?"

The scene takes place on a balcony.

Beetle 43 Bailey's name is changed to Bootlo 43 Booloo.

Yahoo.com became a Mongolian Household name.

Bertrand RUssell LL CJJJ

FIRsT OFF The Starting line Is Located In this place there are what was left of

AAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDRRNNNNSSSSSLLLLLLWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

The First Burger Was a Bistro

GOOD WORK 2009

You were one heck of a buddy.

I know I spoke like a joke towards this years 

resolution.

SYONARA TINSIL

There is a great Loony Tunes Marathon on the TV today, 

Crack open your hangover 18 snatch that peace pipe and roll to the donkey smoke brother.

Time is a funny thing.

ALSO: SHOULD I BUY A MYSTERY BONG?