Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mood Rings & Waterbeds*

Construction on the worlds first 3G Waterbed is underway



As classes go by quarter S'09:

Oceanography

Research

Nutrition





A mail-man delivers a envelope to another man.
Burt Hines is the man. He had just finished pissing and heard the mail drop through the slot. It was a letter from his insurance company;

Dear Burt Hines,

This is Ray Addle from your Bisco Insurance office. I'm writing you as a friend, not an associate. I apologize for sending you a letter with our letterhead, but I just can't trust anyone anymore. I have been sleeping in the office for the past two days. I pulled your file, B273, and have noticed you didn't pay your premium yet. I thought I would let you know before your policy is put on cancellation status.

I just thought you had the right to know.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

To Have and Have Not




Beetle Bailey woke up around one. After experiment PIGEON 27 had performed liftoff no one woke up early. News was sent from the spacecraft to earth in the martian morning, but it wouldn't make it home until late Earth afternoon. Besides the Mongols everyone was so excited about the government experiment that they all stopped working . The world economy slumped. This lead way to the strongest government Mongolia had experienced since Genghis Khan. They began production on some of the most powerful telescopes known to man, discovering things which no one but the Maya had ever seen in the stars.  Beetle Bailey had changed his name in order with the norm of society. He was assigned a number, as there were a number of other Beetle Baileys in the world, 43. The number forty three was then placed at the beginning, end, or middle of his name as of his preference and his middle name was deleted. He chose the fashion at the time and added the number to the middle of his name, therefore establishing some semblance of what would be considered individuality. Beetle 43 Bailey was then changed for the new language of the world. Human beings had for far too long needed an excess amount of vowel enunciation to get a point across in a descriptive enough manor. After the Mongolian government released a undisclosed chemical which they had named "O" into the world atmosphere a phenomenon of telepathy developed in practically all human minds besides the Portuguese who would later revert back to stone age technology from the chemicals affects. Therefore the UN thought about meeting to pass a bill entitled, "The United Language Act of World Culture" or ULAWOC Pact which formally united the world with one language called BooFoo. BooFoo was similar to English except rid the language of unnecessary letters which were unnecessary for understanding. The world Alphabet nursery rhyme went, 

B-C-D-F-G-H-L-M-N-O-P-R-S-T-V-W-Now I know my BC.

A famous poet and playwright who used BooFoo as his main creative voice was named Quincy 2008 Jefferson by the government. He was made famous by his best selling play, Ponnoclo of Domontoo, which was sold exclusively on Yahoo.com as a .odv file. The play was about a man obsessed with a lost page of The Constitutional History of the USA which stated whether it was Theodore Roosevelt or Franklin Roosevelt who tried to change the spelling of the word Through to thru. An excerpt goes something like this:

"How moch of ot
os now of ot,
os ot now moch
of onothong?"

The scene takes place on a balcony.

Beetle 43 Bailey's name is changed to Bootlo 43 Booloo.

Yahoo.com became a Mongolian Household name.